Cap (Steve Rogers)
by lovelycaptain
Summary: Captain America/Steve Rogers one-shots. Feel free to request scenarios either in the comments or in a direct message! NOTE: "(Y/N)" is being changed to "Jane" (as in Jane Doe, to try and keep a little bit of reader insert in there) as it is against guidelines to post reader-insert stories.
1. baby names

**summary: you and Steve are having a child, and the entire team decides to pitch in on baby names.**

 **word count: 1857**

 **trigger warnings: fluff and humor**

* * *

After over a year of trying, you and your fiance of a year and a half, Steve, were finally pregnant. It had been a long, difficult road in getting to this point, filled with plenty of tears, but you were absolutely over the moon now that you were carrying your child.

And... So were your friends.

They were a little too excited, if you were honest. Buying things for the baby's bedroom (though you still didn't know if it was a he or a she) and insisting on accompanying you to all of your doctor's appointments. Imagine having to explain to your gynecologist why a man wielding a hammer had burst into your ultrasound appointment fifteen minutes late and loudly proclaimed, "I have arrived to see the child of the Captain and Lady (Y/N)!"

It didn't go too well, and ended up with Thor being led out of the hospital by three very unfriendly security guards, and the Mjolnir being confiscated until Fury had the situation settled.

Now, you and Steve had just arrived home from a particularly exciting doctor's appointment (Natasha and Bucky had driven separately, of course), where you'd found out the sex of your baby. Or at least you had that information, concealed on a piece of paper in a thick manila envelope.

At first, you had been unwilling to find out what you were having, as you insisted you'd love your baby no matter what he or she was. But then Steve pointed out how much easier it would be to shop if you knew, and plus, it would make you feel closer to the baby before it was born.

So, you'd agreed, and now you were tightly clutching the envelope in your hands as Steve, always the gentleman, helped you out of the car. Just seconds later Bucky and Natasha pulled up behind you and hopped out, both anxious to find out what baby Rogers would be.

"C'mon, (Y/N), let's rip that bad boy open!" Bucky rubbed his hands together excitedly.

You held the envelope more protectively towards your chest. For some reason, finding out the gender of your baby seemed like an intimate thing, something that only you and Steve should witness.

"Sorry guys, but I think I'm going to hold on to this for a little bit," you laughed as Bucky's face darkened and turned to pouty. "Aw, Buck, you know I love you, but I think this is a just Steve and me sort of thing."

Bucky grumbled something incoherent, and even though he was now extremely put out, he followed you inside the new Avengers headquarters and to the common room, where everyone was sat. Tony, Clint, Bruce, Maria, and Thor all looked up expectantly whenever you walked in.

"Before any of you ask: Steve and I aren't looking yet. You'll all find out as soon as we do." You said.

Everyone groaned, and then Tony started ranting about how as third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth parents to your unborn child, they should have a say in any decisions that were made. All you could do was laugh and take a seat on the ground beside Maria as you listened to Tony speak.

Eventually, however, he calmed down enough to begin a discussion on baby names.

"I think Antonia Edith Rogers would be fantastic!" Tony shouted, raising his glass of wine into the air.

Maria choked on the sip of wine she'd just taken, and after she stopped coughing she began laughing. "That's terrible, Tony. Where the hell did that even come from?"

"Well, you're supposed to name kids after important people in your life, right? Why not base baby Roger's name off of the dearest friend that ole Spangles and Lady America ever had? A handsome, wise, fair gentleman by the name of-"

"James Buchanan Barnes, right?" Bucky interjected. "Besides, we all know I'm getting godfather. Why not give me the middle name slot as well?"

You rolled your eyes at the men's antics and turn to Natasha, lowering your voice slightly. "They do know they have absolutely zero say in this, right?"

Natasha snorted. "Do you really believe that?"

Suddenly, you felt Steve's face very close to your ear. He breathed, "Meet me in the kitchen," and then got up and left.

You counted to thirty before casually getting up and heading to the kitchen, but you needn't have worried. The boys were so wrapped up in arguing that Anthony James Thor was the perfect name for a baby to even notice that you- and the envelope- had left.

Steve was leaned up against the kitchen counter casually, sipping on his second or third glass of wine. You stared at it longingly, and not for the first time, wished that women could drink when pregnant. Instead of focusing on this and your next 6 months alcohol-less, you chose to direct your attention to Steve.

"What's up, love?" You asked quietly, though you already knew what Steve wanted to talk to you about.

Steve reached out and pulled you by your hips so that you were leaning against his chest. He leaned his head down and touched his lips to your forehead gently, and upon pulling away, said "So, doll, are you ready to find out if we're painting blue or pink?"

Your hands were shaking as you nodded yes and began carefully tearing opening the envelope. This was it, the moment where you learned whether baby Rogers would be a boy or a girl...

You gasped, and tears came to your eyes. You looked up, and Steve's eyes were glistening as well.

You both quietly walked back into the common room, and by this point, everyone had noticed your absence. Bruce was the first one to see that the manila envelope was now open, and he practically jumped to his feet.

"You guys know?" He paused for you and Steve to nod. "Come on, tell us!"

Everyone cheered in agreement, and you realized that you had no choice, even if you didn't want to share the news with the group. Even though you were pregnant, you were pretty sure Tony and Natasha had no qualms with bending your arm behind your back and snatching the envelope out of your grip.

You exchanged a long look with Steve, and though he was overcome with emotion, he managed to nod at you.

"Okay, everyone, I hope all of your bets are in by this point," Tony grinned and crossed his fingers. "Steve and I are thrilled to announce that baby Rogers is a boy and a girl. We're having twins!"

Everyone was shocked. Obviously, you and Steve had known for quite a while now that you were expecting twins, but no one else had picked up on this during your hectic appointments, so you had kept it quiet. And all of that secrecy was worth it for the chance to see the world's mightiest heroes with mouths wide open, and some tearing up.

"Goddamn," Clint was the first to speak. "None of us bet on that, did we?" There was a murmur that went around the room, and then you had a brilliant idea. "How about you all use the money you bet on my children to buy us one hell of a baby shower gift?"

Tony scoffed. "You think I'm going to go all in with these people? No way, sweetheart. Rogers babies are getting a Jarvis-nanny, sweetheart!"

Your eyes grew wide, but then Tony burst into laughter, and you realized that he was kidding, thank God. Even though you loved Tony dearly, there was no way you'd let one of his little "inventions" care for your children, not after the whole Ultron incident.

The conversation settled back down, and you found yourself trapped in a serious discussion with Nat and Maria about your way-too extravagant baby shower. So far, they'd decided that it was going to be on the roof, with fireworks, a banner across the sky, and a hundred doves released at midnight.

"(Y/N)," Tony called, and you looked at him expectantly. "We've chosen names for my little goddaughter and godson: Antonia Clint Rogers and Buchanan Thor Rogers."

"Tony, this isn't just me saying no. This isn't even me just saying hell no. This is me saying that there is no fucking way that I am ever naming my children any variation of that." You smirked at Tony. "And I hate to break it to you, love, but Bucky is getting godfather."

Steve started laughing loudly at this and reached over to clap Bucky on the shoulder, who's expression mirrored a child on Christmas morning. And Tony, instead of being put off, just scratched those two name options off of his list and kept going.

Several hours later, you and Steve had finally managed to break away from the party and retreat to your secluded quarters, which were mercifully far, far away from Tony Stark and his list of terrible baby names.

Although you had been annoyed by Tony's antics, it did make you start thinking about what you wanted to name your children. You had several names in mind- all classic, of course, and no silly spellings or anything like that.

"Darling?" Steve said as he changed. "I have a couple ideas."

You rolled over in bed to face him and rested a hand on your rapidly-growing belly. "Go for it."

"Well, I was thinking..."

Just a few months later, you went through a long, eighteen hour delivery, but it was all worth it to meet your beautiful babies. You were thrilled that both children inherited Steve's gorgeous blue eyes, but your daughter had your (Y/H/C). They both arrived just as planned, and there were no complications, besides the fact that during labor, you somehow managed to defy all odds and break two bones in Steve's hand.

As soon as the nursing staff would let them in, all of your friends crowded around you and Steve. You had a baby each, and they were napping peacefully in your arms.

"So, what are we calling our little angels?" Natasha- who'd been present during the delivery and was also named godmother- cooed as she stroked your son's fine blonde hair.

"Well, we actually didn't finalize names until about fifteen minutes ago. But we've got it now. So, without further ado, meet Elisabeth Natasha Rogers," you paused and exchanged a smile with Steve. "and Anthony Buchanan Rogers."

You turned to Tony, who, to your surprise, had unshed tears glistening in his eyes. He seemed to be at a loss for words, so instead he tipped his head towards you and Steve and reached out for your little Anthony.

Steve- who had passed Elisabeth carefully off to Clint- came to stand at your side, and he quietly wrapped his arm around your shoulder while pressing a kiss to your temple. As you watched your friends all gush over your newborn children, you couldn't help but think how lucky you were to have a group of friends so invested in your life and well-being.

Of course, the second Anthony and Elisabeth started crying, everyone mysteriously lost interest, but you tried you ignore that part.


	2. cookies

**summary: after steve is pulled out of the ice, you are assigned to acclimatize him to the 21st century... and one day, he tries to bake.**

 **word count: 1185**

 **trigger warnings: none.**

* * *

"(Y/N)?" you heard Steve's unsure voice call from the kitchen. "How do I work the- uh- micro-thing?"

You let out a groan of frustration and resisted the urge to slam your head against the table. "Hold on just a minute, Steve! And for the record, it's called a microwave."

When you had been assigned to be Captain America's official "21st century tour guide", you had no idea what you were getting yourself in to. The Captain, for all of his good assets, was utterly clueless when it came to simple everyday things. You tried to keep in mind that he'd never seen an iPhone before (or a YouPhone, as he called it on many occasions), and that the microwave was invented a few years after he was put in ice, but you were growing rather frustrated.

When you and Steve had first met, you'd tried to be polite and cordial, throwing in a few "yes sirs" and "Captains" to make him feel at ease, but that had quickly ended when you found out how incompetent he was. Now, five months into Steve's time as a man of the 2000's, it was all you could do to not call him a giant fucking meatball ass-hat every time he screwed up.

That was another thing. Steve had been appalled when the first thing you said when you met him was, "It's about god damn time, Fury. I've been waiting, what, three fucking hours now?" To this day he still didn't understand why you took so much pleasure in saying the filthiest, most sarcastic thing you could thing of, but he'd slowly grown used to it. He'd also grown used to you threatening to sock him every time he called you "Ma'am" or "Agent (L/N)".

It had taken some time, but you and Steve were now entered into an uneasy alliance. You both lived in the Stark Tower, so it was rather easy to avoid each other unless it was absolutely necessary. It wasn't that you disliked the Captain, per se, you just missed the time in your life when you could sit and draw out plans for a mission without a super-soldier poking his head into your room and asking you ridiculous questions. ("Why the hell would they move Central Park, Cap? Of course it's still in the same place!")

"(Y/N)? Something's burning. I would really appreciate it if you could-"

Steve's voice was cut off by the shrill sound of the fire alarm going off, and you jumped to your feet quickly. You tried to cover your head to protect yourself from the harsh, cold droplets of water now falling from the ceiling, but it was no use. You were drenched within seconds. You silently cursed Steve, for existing, and Tony, for not telling you the codes to override Jarvis' controls, as you made your way into the kitchen.

It was a complete and utter mess. There was flour all over the floor (and in Steve's hair), smoke pouring out of the microwave, and something that looked like chocolate was splattered across the wall...

"Steve," you tried to keep your voice cool. You'd never blown up at Steve before, not really, but you felt like you were close. "What the actual hell happened in here?"

Steve blushed profusely and ran a hand through his now-wet hair. "I was trying to make some cookies, y'know? So I found this recipe on the- uh- net, and it said to put the cookies in the microwave oven for-"

You immediately realized what had happened, and you threw your hands up in the air, completely giving up on your hair, and began laughing. The situation was so ridiculous, when you thought about it. The Captain America, the super-soldier frozen in a block of ice for seventy years, couldn't make a fucking batch of cookies. He'd fought in Nazi Germany, taken out Red Skull himself, sacrificed his life, yet he didn't know the difference between a microwave and an oven. And now, he was standing in front of you, soaking wet, with flour in his hair and a smudge of chocolate on his cheek.

"Oh, honey," you let out another peal of laughter as Steve stared at you, shocked by the pet name. "You're supposed to put them in oven, not the microwave. That's why they exploded- hey, why were you baking, anyway?"

Steve now looked uncomfortable, but you refused to back down. He eventually sighed and leaned up against the counter, nearly sticking his elbow into a bowl of watery chocolate.

"I was- uh- trying to surprise you," Steve flushed and cleared his throat awkwardly. "You've put up with me for so long now, I figured it was time I showed my appreciation."

You moved towards Steve and rested your hand gently on his arm. "Thank you for the gesture, Steve. Just promise me one thing, alright? You'll never, ever try to use the kitchen without adult supervision, alright?" You nudged him playfully.

As you watched Steve stammer and blush, something clicked inside of you. Suddenly, he was no longer the annoying puppy dog super-soldier, but a man, confused and trying to adjust to live after being practically dead for seventy years. Your heart went out to him, and you regretted all of the times you'd complained and insulted him. Steve was trying his best, given the circumstances.

"Steve, listen, I'm sorry if I've been a little bit of a bitch-" you rolled your eyes at the face Steve made. "-jerk, these past few months. I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you."

Steve smiled at you brightly. "It's alright, (Y/N). I know I haven't been the easiest person to put up with."

You smiled softly at Steve, and suddenly, your faces were mere inches apart. Your breath hitched, and it was all you could do to not lean forward and close the distance between Steve and you. Then, Steve's eyes fluttered shut, and his lips were against yours-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I leave you kids alone for what, a few hours? And I come home to find you going at it in my kitchen! Which, I might add, is completely destroyed. And why haven't you turned off the sprinklers? JARVIS, shut them off." Tony said.

In a matter of seconds, the sprinkler system was shut off, and you and Steve were left-arms wrapped around each other- to face Tony. He was looking back at you two gleefully, surely thinking of a million ways to embarrass you with what he'd just witnessed.

"Um, rain check on this, alright?" you laughed at your own joke as you gestured between you and Steve. "I'll see you later."

You turned on your heel, flicked your sopping wet hair over your shoulder, and brushed against Tony as you left the kitchen. "Not a word, Stark. You hear me?" you hissed quietly, low enough that Steve couldn't hear.

"Oh, sweetheart, you know that's not my style." Tony smirked.

You groaned, but then you caught Steve's eye. Maybe, few dozen jokes would be worth it, if you got to feel those lips against yours again.


	3. nightmares

summary: you have been having nightmares about steve dying after the events of winter soldier, so he comforts you every night. you gather the courage to admit your feelings to steve, with surprising results.

word count: 1405

trigger warnings: none

* * *

"Everything will be alright, doll. We'll replace the chips, take out the Helicarriers and be home just in time for dinner," Steve kissed your forehead gently. "And that's a promise, Agent (Y/L/N)."

"You better not be lying to me, Captain. Because if I do remember correctly, my best friend and I had plans to go dancing next week, and he'd better not disappoint."

You tried to smile at Steve, but it came out more like a grimace. Even though Steve tried to assure you otherwise, you knew that this mission was hopeless. You and the rest of the team were going up against HYDRA, a compromised S.H.I.E.L.D, and the elusive Winter Soldier himself. It seemed impossible, that you'd be able to replace the chips in all three Helicarriers before they were deployed and killed millions. In fact, you weren't even sure you'd live to see nightfall.

Steve was insisting that you stay with Agent Hill and guard her back while she works the controls. You wanted to go with Steve and help him and Sam replace chips, but the Captain, stubborn as ever, refused. He stayed firm in his decision that your talents as a trained assassin and hacker would be put to much better use overriding the controls than fighting.

And so, you complied. You took out a dozen or two S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA members- it was impossible to tell who was who anymore- and now, you and Agent Hill had received the command you'd been waiting for. It was time.

You couldn't really make out what Agent Hill and Steve were saying, but it sounded like an argument. Your comm had gotten damaged during a particular nasty scuffle with a large, beefy agent, and you were now fighting off a couple of his cronies by yourself.

"Any time now, Captain!" you called breathlessly, delivering yet another clean blow to one of the men's faces.

Then, it was over. The Helicarriers went down, one after the other. After knocking out the last agent in your vicinity, you turned to Agent Hill, wiping blood from a cut on your lip. You only then realized that Agent Hill wouldn't quite meet your eyes, and her expression was grim.

"Agent Hill- Maria," you ditched formalities, deciding that if S.H.I.E.L.D was down, there was no use in sticking with their appointed rites. "What's happening? Did the Helicarriers not go down according to plan? Did- did we lose someone?"

Your heart sank when Maria continued to avoid your gaze. She only gave you a noncommittal jerk of her head as she turned back to the computer screens. You slammed your fist against the desktop, causing Maria to jerk and finally, her eyes met yours.

Immediately you knew. You knew why she resisted Steve's orders, and why she wouldn't speak to you. Steve was doing exactly what he'd done over seventy years ago, when he crashed that jet into the ocean. The captain was going down with the ship. Or in this case, the Helicarrier.

You let out a small cry and hung your head. Maria didn't have to confirm anything. She didn't have to say a single god damn word, because you knew Steve Rogers like no other. You knew he'd sacrifice himself without a thought about himself. You knew your best friend, and you knew that he'd rather go out in a blaze of fire than see millions of people die.

"(Y/N), we've got to get out of here. The Department of Defense, they've already caught wind of what we did. We've got to regroup, get our stories straight, figure out what the hell our next move is," Maria said gently. "I know you're hurting, but we've got to move."

You nodded mutely, and allowed her to pull you by the arm out of the building and into a helicopter driven by Fury and Natasha. Sam was already seated inside. You didn't speak to anyone, didn't allow Sam to pull you into a hug, because your best friend was dead. You would never see him again, and worst of all, you could never admit to him how you felt.

"No, no, no, Steve," you moaned. "Steve, no!"

You sat upright in bed, clutching the comforter to your chest as your eyes flew open. Your heart was beating wildly as you tried to make sense of what was happening, where you were, what day it was...

"(Y/N), I'm here. Everything's alright, sweetheart, I'm here."

And then Steve's arms were around you as he slid into your bed, a routine you had perfectly choreographed by now. He pulled you against his chest and slowly began rocking back and forth, whispering words of comfort into your ear. You wildly grabbed at his shirt as you inhaled the scent that was so distinctly Steve, trying to find something to anchor you to reality.

"Your name is (Y/F/M/L/N). You were born on (Y/B/D). We met in 2011, and later on, we were both assigned to the Avengers Initiative. We've been best friends for four years." Steve murmured softly, stroking your hair.

You tried to control your breathing and focus on the words that Steve was repeating over and over in a low whisper. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead, because he was here, and you were in his arms, and you both were safe.

It had been three long months since you, Steve, Maria, Natasha, and Nick had taken down S.H.I.E.L.D. And during those three months, you'd been plagued with nightmares of Steve dying, of the Winter Soldier (who you now were working actively to find) brutally beating him, of not seeing Steve alive on a hospital bed, but in a casket. You couldn't sleep through the night without waking up screaming for Steve, and he came. Every single night that he was home (home being the apartment you, Sam, and Steve were staying in during your hunt for Bucky), he came to you and stayed the entire night.

"You okay?" Steve asked, pulling back from you just a bit.

You offered him a weak, watery smile. "I'm alright. Just the same old, same old. I'm sorry you have to keep doing this, Steve. I don't know how to stop it..." You trailed off helplessly, staring down at your lap.

Steve lifted your chin so your eyes met. He wiped the few stray tears off your cheeks and brushed back your hair.

"Hey, (Y/N). As long as you need me, I'm here, you got that? Doesn't matter what I'm doing, where I'm at. You just say the word, doll, and I'll be by your side in a second." Steve smiled at your softly, then pulled you in again for another hug.

You nuzzled your face against Steve's chest, thankful that he couldn't see the blush creeping across your cheeks. You had to tell him. You had to know whether or not Steve Rogers loved you as deeply as you loved him.

"I love you," you mumbled into his chest. "A lot."

You felt Steve chuckle as he squeezed you tighter. "I love you too, (Y/N)."

You leaned back from Steve in an effort to see his face. From the looks of it, he hadn't thought much of your words. After all, you'd been best friends for years. "I love you" wasn't an uncommon sentiment exchanged between the two of you.

"No, Steve," you paused, bracing yourself for possible embarrassment and humiliation. "I love you."

Steve furrowed his brow, lips parting in confusion. "What do you m- Oh. Oh!" It was Steve's turn to look awkward. "Really?"

You cringed inwardly as you disentangled yourself from Steve. It had been a bad idea, admitting your feelings for the super-solider. You supposed that you'd be waking up alone from now on. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to not cry in front of Steve again. When you opened them, you were surprised to see Steve intently staring at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You opened your mouth to speak, but Steve beat you to it.

"May I kiss you?" Steve asked quietly.

You nodded, eyes growing wide as Steve leaned in and pressed his lips against yours softly. You leaned in to the kiss, hesitantly wrapping your arms around Steve's neck and threading your fingers in his hair. He responded with equal enthusiasm, pulling you flush against his chest.

After several seconds- or maybe it was minutes, or hours, or years, you weren't quite sure- you and Steve broke apart, lips swollen and faces red.

"I love you too, (Y/N). Always have, always will."


	4. captain (pt I)

**summary: you and steve are in a long-term relationship, but you feel like he's starting to be controlling. you call him out on it, and he is not pleased.**

 **word count: 887**

 **trigger warnings: angst, and lots of it. good luck.**

* * *

You were so sick and damn tired of listening to the Captain's every command. You were sick of being treated as a subordinate rather than his fiancee. You were sick of having to answer to and make every move based on Steve's wishes. You were sick of being seen as Captain America's girl, rather than the trained, highly-dangerous assassin-slash-Avenger that you were. You were sick of living a life nothing like the one you had always imagined for yourself.

And so you told him. You told Steve that you were done playing obedient fiancee to him, and you were going to make your own choices in decisions. You still respected him, you said, but if you were on a mission and you had a gut feeling about something, you were going to follow through with it. If you didn't believe Steve was right about something, you were going to call him out for it. You were an Avenger, for God's sake. You weren't a soldier.

Steve hadn't taken this so well. First, he'd accused you of trying to run the team- which you assured him you wanted no part of, you were only a part of the Avengers Initiative on Fury's request- and then attempted to say that you expected preferential treatment as his fiancee. Then, however, Steve had hit you with the hardest blow.

"Damn it, (Y/N)! Peggy would have never gone against me like that-"

All you could see was red, and you couldn't control the cruel thoughts that were now swirling around in your mind. Your only objective right now was to hit Steve in all the places that hurt, to make him feel exactly as you did right now. You took a deep breath and looked Steve squarely in the eye, not backing away from his harsh gaze.

"Is that what you want, then? For me to be more like your precious Peggy? To be obedient and follow you around like a lovesick puppy, and wait like a dutiful wife for you to come home from a mission? To have dinner on the table and the kids all washed up, and to not have a damn thought for myself in my own damn mind?"

Steve looked taken aback by your harsh words, but he pressed on.

"You know what, (Y/N)? A little compassion would be nice every once in a while! I get enough shit from Tony and the others on the field, the last thing I need is you doing it in our own home! So yeah, maybe you should take some notes from Peggy." Steve growled.

You were momentarily stunned, but you wouldn't let Steve win, not now.

"I'm so sorry, Captain Rogers," you snarled, clenching your fists at your side. "I won't disobey direct orders again- actually, you know what? Scratch that. I'm fucking done."

"You'd do well to obey your commander wherever you end up next, Agent (Y/L/N)." Steve said tersely.

You could tell that he was trying to keep his cool, but you couldn't help yourself. You had to push him. You weren't going to let him get away with treating you like this, even if he was Captain Fucking America, the golden boy of the country.

"'Where I end up next'? Captain, I'm not sure you quite grasp how much jurisdiction you have here. To make it clear, you can't fire me from the team. I worked under Fury for years before you were thawed; he'd be much more likely to listen to one of his best and most trusted agents than the 97 year old freak show who's apparently coined himself the Supreme Commander of this team-"

Your breath hitched as Steve slammed his fist into the wall above your head. You heard a sickening crunch as his knuckles cracked, and blood was running down the wall. For a slight moment, you thought his fist had been aimed at your face.

But no. Even in a fit of rage, as the girl he loved walked away from him, Steve Rogers would never hit her. As much as he infuriated her, as much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't begrudge him that. He was truly a gentleman, through-and-through.

"(Y/N), if you walk out that door..." Steve breathed heavily and clenched his fists, ignoring the fact that he was now dropping splatters of blood onto the floor. "If you walk out that door, I'm not coming after you. Not anymore. Do you understand that? This is the last god damn time."

You laughed once, without humor, and ducked from beneath Steve's arm in the direction of the door. As hard as you tried not to, you had to look back. And by God, you wished you hadn't. Because Steve was just standing there, staring at the spot on the wall where you'd been just seconds previously, and his face was... Broken. Steve, who you'd never seen cry, now had tears rapidly flowing down his cheeks.

And it killed you inside, to know that you were the reason for this. But Steve hadn't acted like a boyfriend to you in a long time, and then he'd compared you to Peggy... Your resolve firmed, and you found the strength to leave the training room, letting the door slam shut behind you.

This time, you didn't look back.


	5. a drink or two

summary: you and the rest of the team go out to a club per tony's request. there, you all get completely wasted, save for a certain blond haired, blue eyed super-soldier.

word count: 2580

trigger warnings: alcohol and hijinks. 'nuff said.

* * *

"Jesus Christ, what happened last night?" You mumbled tiredly.

You looked around you at the destroyed room. You had woken up stretched across Steve's lap on a sofa in the common area of the Avengers tower, but that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was the fact that you could see Tony curled up on the dining table, a house plant clutched to his chest, and Thor lying face down in a pile of chocolate syrup on the kitchen floor. Natasha was asleep on the sofa directly across from you, and oddly enough, she was wearing a giant fedora. You could also see the edge of Bucky's head, poking out from beneath the coffee table in the middle of the room. The weirdest part of it all, though, was the fact that Bruce was attached to one of the giant ceiling-to-floor windows with pink duck tape.

You tried to sit up, but then you saw Clint. He was leaning up against the sofa, holding onto your foot like his life depended on it as he slept. You tried to shake him off, to kick him, even, but nothing worked. You were stuck. All of your movement must have woken Steve, because he suddenly sat up, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his disheveled blond hair.

"Good morning, (Y/N)" Steve said rather loudly, causing you to clutch your head in agony.

"Shh, shh," you groaned as you leaned back against Steve's chest. "Inside voices, please."

Steve chuckled quietly and began absentmindedly stroking your hair. "Do you have any idea what happened last night?"

You tried to rack your brains and come up with a memory or two, but it only made your head hurt more. The last thing you remembered was being dragged to an upscale club by Tony, the other Avengers in tow, and drinking and dancing like there was no tomorrow...

"I might have had a drink or two... Or twenty." You confessed sheepishly.

Steve laughed again. "Since you obviously don't remember anything, I guess I'll have to start from the beginning. So, you and Natasha had just ordered another round of vodka..."

You had never been this wasted in your entire life. Tony had convinced you- and the rest of the team- to accompany him to a new, upscale club downtown, where he promised that you'd have the "time of your life."

And oh, were you ever. After taking a couple shots, you were already hammered. You were notorious for being a lightweight, and often the first to get drunk at parties. Steve and Bucky- both being super-soldiers who couldn't get drunk- often took turns babysitting you, as you often made reckless and stupid decisions while intoxicated.

Tonight was no different. Steve was currently on babysitting duty, and already he had ruined your fun by not letting some tall, handsome stranger take you to a darkened corner of the club. You pouted for a few minutes, but then Natasha offered up another round of shots, and you perked up rather quickly. You followed the curvy redhead to the bar, where she flirted with the bartender until he agreed to give you a round of shots on the house.

You were constantly amazed by Natasha's ability to get whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, just by using her sex appeal and a few sugar-coated words. You'd never been able to take control of a situation like she did, and in all honesty, you were a little jealous of your best friend. Yes, you thought yourself to be attractive and yes, you'd had several boyfriends in the past, but you couldn't work a room the way Natasha did. Instead of batting eyelashes and pouting lips, you would end up with runny mascara and awkward stammers.

You mused over this as you stumbled back to the private room that Tony had rented. You flopped down on the couch next to Steve, who looked extremely pissed off. You vaguely thought that it probably had something to do with the man who was flirting with you earlier, but that thought quickly disappeared. Now, you only had one mission: Operation Get Steve to Lighten Up.

And so, doing something you had never attempted before, you decided to put your so-called sex appeal to use. You scooted closer on the black leather couch to Steve, laying your hand on his arm to get his attention. Steve looked down at you as he took a sip of beer, and using a move you'd seen Natasha use countless times, you fluttered your eyelashes at him and smiled coyly.

Steve nearly choked on his drink.

"Hey- Um," he coughed. "What's up, (Y/N)?"

You laughed softly and began slowly running your hand up Steve's arm. "Nothing much, Steve. Though I am a little put out that you wouldn't let me have my fun earlier," you paused and leaned in close to Steve's ear. "That guy sure looked like he could show me a good time."

Steve's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of his head and he was blushing like crazy."(Y/N)? Are you okay? You're not acting like yourself."

You pouted and moved away from Steve slightly. "That's not very nice, is it?"

Steve now looked worried, like he thought he had actually offended you. He hurriedly wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you in for a quick hug, planting a kiss on your forehead. "You know, (Y/N), you're adorable," Steve flushed. "And drunk. Very, very drunk."

You crinkled your nose and pulled out of Steve's embrace. He looked significantly less pissed off now, and was staring at you with a goofy grin on his face. You couldn't help but smile back at him, now giggling hysterically. So much for sex appeal.

"Up for another one?" Clint said suddenly, coming up and sitting down on Steve's other side.

You nodded eagerly and moved to take the beer Clint was offering you, but Steve grabbed your hand.

"Not so fast, (Y/N). I think it's time we cut you off."

You let out a snort. "Cut me off? I'm perfectly fine, Cap. Do I need to do one of those straight-line walking tests? Because I could totally do that. Like, I could even do it with my eyes closed."

You stood up and began to perform a very botched version of the field sobriety test, wobbling and running into Steve's legs. With a small, "Oomph" you fell into his lap, your head too close to his crotch for comfort.

"Damn, (Y/N), Steve! Save it for the bedroom, you two." Tony chuckled and winked at you.

You only grinned back and lifted yourself back into a sitting position. You were now sitting on your knees very close to Steve's face, and you could tell that he was trying to look anywhere but your lips. You licked your lips in what you hoped was a seductive manner, and leaned across Steve, taking advantage of his momentary distraction to grab the beer out of Clint's hands.

"Thank you very much!" You chirped, taking a long drink from the bottle.

Steve only rolled his eyes and shook his head at you, grabbing a drink of his own. He raised his glass to yours in a toast, and you clinked your bottles together.

"To a night of loosening up and having fun," you smirked.

"To a night of loosening up and having fun." Steve repeated with a small smile, nodding his head at you.

The rest of the night passed in a similar fashion, with you rotating back and forth between curling up against Steve and letting Bucky pull you onto the dance floor. You would throw your head back and laugh, your (H/C) curls bouncing and your eyes bright with happiness. Steve looked on as Bucky spun you around the room again and again, a dark expression crossing his face

"Why do we have to go home?" You whined, letting Steve pull you by the arm out the front doors of the club. "I was having so much fun!"

"Yeah, why do we have to go home?" Tony echoed.

He was stumbling a few feet in front of you with Thor- who'd been sipping on Asgardian liquor all night, proclaiming that mortals had a weak taste in alcohol- and Clint. Natasha was holding her high heels in her hand and a martini that she'd managed to sneak out the door in the other, and Bucky had mysteriously disappeared several hours earlier with a curvy brunette. Bruce was walking a few paces behind Natasha, hands in his pockets as he swayed back and forth, humming some pop song in an off-key voice.

Your feet were killing you at this point, even though you'd already followed Natasha's initiative and slipped off your tall silver pumps. All you wanted was to find a nice patch of sidewalk, curl up, and go to sleep, but Steve insisted that you make it back to the tower, first. You all had decided to walk, given that the tower was only a few blocks away, but now that seemed like a very, very bad idea.

Just then, a brilliant idea hit you. "Hey, Steve?" you said sweetly. He stared at you, weary that you were going to start flirting with him again. "Can you do me a huge favor?"

Steve stopped in the middle of the street and stared at you suspiciously. "And that is-?"

You held out your arms to him. "Give me a piggy ride, please. For I'm a poor, distraught damsel or whatever, and I would be ever so grateful if you, a dashing man of the golden age of chivalry, would carry me-"

Steve rolled his eyes, but nevertheless bent down so you could hop on his back. You let out a small squeal before wrapping your arms and legs around Steve's back and resting your head on top of his. He stood back up, and he hurried to catch up with the rest of the group. You heard Natasha mutter something about you receiving unfair treatment, but you ignored it, because Steve smelled so good, and his hair was so soft, and the muscles in his back were so defined...

You realized with a start that you'd arrived at the Avengers Tower. Steve softly set you down, but he continued to hold your hand as he led the way inside of the building. The elevator ride was chaotic, to say the least. Tony loudly proclaimed that you all were going to keep the party going in the lounge, and to this Natasha had thrown her now-empty martini glass into the air, causing small glass shards to fly everywhere. Steve then proceeded to lecture you all, but he was quickly drowned out by the sound of Thor and Bruce beginning a belching contest.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, you, Clint, and Tony made a beeline for the bar. Tony was a pretty good mixologist, and he began preparing drinks immediately. You took a long drink from a Sex on the Beach, savoring the delicious flavor.

You wandered around the room for several moments, chatting with your friends and trying to avoid knocking into furniture. It was harder than it looked, to say the least. You winded up again on the sofa with Steve. For some reason, you couldn't stop looking at him. The strong line of his jaw, his gorgeous cerulean eyes, the way his lips formed your name... What the hell was happening to you?

It was just the alcohol, you assured yourself. It was the alcohol, and the way Steve's eyes lit up when they met yours, and how nicely his blue dress shirt hugged his figure. It was because of all of these things that your heart fluttered every time Steve's arm brushed against yours, or he laughed particularly hard at one of your bad jokes. You didn't have feelings for him; Steve was one of your best friends. You couldn't.

But damn, right now, you wanted nothing more than to have Steve Rogers' lips on yours, and his fingers in your hair, and possible in a few other places...

"Why the hell not," you muttered, and without waiting for your drunk conscience to kick in, you leaned over and kissed Steve full on the mouth.

You could tell that Steve was startled by your forward action, but after a few seconds, he responded and leaned in to your kiss. It was short-lived, though, as Steve almost immediately pushed himself away from you.

"(Y/N), we can't. You're drunk, and I won't take advantage of you like that." Steve sighed, looking everywhere but your eyes.

You rolled your eyes at Steve. "It's not taking advantage if I want it." You reasoned.

Steve smiled at you, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He took your hand in his and kissed it softly. "In the morning, if you still want this, let me know."

"Fucking hell," you groaned as the memories of last night came flooding back to you. "I'm such an idiot- No, screw that. I'm an embarrassment to society. God, Steve, I'm so sorry."

Steve only chuckled. "You were drunk off your ass last night, (Y/N). I don't hold any of that against you."

You offered him an awkward smile before looking around the room at your friends. "So... What the hell happened here?"

Steve sighed. "Do you want the long version or the short one?"

"Short, please."

"Okay, so basically, Natasha stole that fedora off of some guy on the street. Tony was trying to make a Pina Colada, but his blender broke and in his despair he passed out holding a pineapple. Thor was thirsty, so he decided to drink some chocolate syrup, and we can see how that ended..." Steve trailed off and shuddered. "Clint bet Bruce that he couldn't down more shots of whiskey in a minute than he could, and when Bruce lost, the penalty was that Clint was allowed to duck tape him to the wall. Bucky got home a few hours after you crashed with a girl and said something about the coffee table being safe and warm, and that's when I fell asleep." Steve summarized, shaking his head as he recounted the antics of his friends.

You laughed quietly, wincing when your head began throbbing again. You knew that you had to address what had happened with Steve last night, and your new-found feelings for him, but you didn't know how. After all, he was one of your best friends. You didn't want to lose that.

"So, about last night..." Steve had already beaten you to the punch. "Did you mean what you said? That you... Wanted me?"

You blushed almost as bright of a red as Steve and squeezed your eyes shut, nodding slowly. You were afraid to open your eyes, knowing that Steve would most likely be staring at you with pity, or worse, laughing. So, you were surprised when a pair of lips descended upon yours, placing a feather-soft kiss before retreating just as quickly.

Your eyes flew open in surprise, and you were shocked to see Steve grinning at you. "I like you, (Y/N), a lot."

You opened your mouth to respond, but someone else was shouting. Bucky, who had woken a few minutes prior and shuffled to the bathroom, now appeared in the lounge, a panicked expression on his face.

"Guys, there's some random brunette chick passed out in the bathtub!"


	6. content

summary: you are engaged to steve rogers- and you recently found out that you're pregnant. you're scared to tell him, because you overheard him telling tony how he wasn't sure he wanted a family.

word count: 1320

trigger warnings: nah.

"I don't know. Family, stability; guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out."

You couldn't help but overhear Steve's conversation with Tony. It was an accident, really. You hadn't mean to eavesdrop, and now you were wishing that you'd waited just a few more minutes to come outside.

Because every word that Steve had spoken was the truth, like always. And up until recently- three months, to be exact- you'd felt the same way. But now... All of that had changed.

"(Y/N)! Wait up."

You wiped your eyes quickly, wanting to avoid raising any suspicion with Steve. He came to a pause beside you and threw an arm around your shoulder. If he noticed your blotchy face and red eyes, he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, Steve? What's up?"

You plastered a false smile onto your face. Steve accepted it without batting an eye.

"Tony's leaving. He wanted me to tell you goodbye for him. He would have stuck around, but Pepper was waiting on him back at headquarters."

Steve took your hand, squeezing it slightly. This gesture, rather than reassure you, only made your chest feel tight.

"Um, would you excuse me for a little it? There's something I, um, have to talk to Nat about."

Without waiting for an answer, you gingerly pried your hand out of Steve's grip and took off in a jog towards the building. Thankfully Steve didn't follow you, having enough sense to realize that you wanted to be alone.

It took you quite a while to find Natasha, as you still got turned around in the new Avenger's Headquarters. You finally found her in one of the many training facilities, practicing with a giant dummy. She stopped what she was doing the second she caught a glimpse of the expression on your face.

"(Y/N)? What the hell happened?" Natasha rushed forward and grabbed your wrists.

"I'm fine, Nat. At least, physically. But I overheard Steve talking to Tony before he left earlier, and he was saying all of these things that I used to agree with. But recently, you know, circumstances have changed, and I-"

"For God's sake, (Y/N), spit it out!"

Natasha looked extremely worried now. It wasn't like you to be so outward with your emotions; you were often calm, cool, and collected, and rarely let people see your true emotions. In the few years that Natasha had known you, she'd never once seen you so hysterical.

"Natasha... I'm pregnant. And I'm terrified that Steve won't want it- or me- once he finds out."

You bit your lip, trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears. You'd known about your pregnancy for about three weeks now, and you hadn't once voiced your fears aloud- or told anyone at all, for that matter- in that entire time.

"(Y/N), you listen very carefully to what I'm about to say, alright? If you believe for one second that Steve Rogers would abandon you, especially now, then you're the biggest fool that I've ever known. And secondly, some of us aren't fortunate enough to be able to have children. Be grateful that you can."

Natasha dropped your wrists, staring at you so harshly that you felt like you were shrinking under her gaze.

"God, Nat. I'm so sorry; that's now what I was meaning at all. It's not that I'm not excited, it's just that I'm terrified of raising a child in this lifestyle... In this world." You sighed heavily and massaged your temples.

Natasha nodded and pursed her lips. "We'll just have to be even more careful, won't we? We've saved the world how many times now? I think, if you put all of us together, we can handle it."

"And, of course, you'll be the godmother."

Finally, Natasha smiled, pulling you into a short but tight hug.

"Watch it!" You teased, laying a hand on your slightly bulging belly.

"Oh, sorry," Natasha grinned and pulled away from you. "Now, you'd better go and find Steve and tell him before I do."

You opened your mouth to respond when a voice sounded from the door.

"Tell Steve what?" Your boyfriend of two and a half years sauntered in, eyebrows creased with worry. "What's going on, (Y/N)? Is everything alright?"

Natasha shot you an encouraging but threatening smile before skipping past Steve and out the door, leaving you alone with him. You kept your eyes trained on the door until the silence became unbearable, and you just had to say something.

This was it, the moment of truth. You had to be brave.

"Steve," you paused. "I have to tell you something."

"I gathered that much," Steve moved towards you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. "Sweetheart, I've been worried about you. You've been acting so off lately-"

"Please," you held up a hand. "I have to say this before I pass out. Steve... I'm pregnant. Three months now."

Steve's entire face went completely blank. For a second, you worried that he'd gone into shock or something as equally horrific. But then, his face lit up in a bright smile.

"We're having a baby?" Steve said quietly, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Yeah, we're having a bay." You grinned at him, feeling tears of happiness and relief well in your eyes.

Steve picked you up and spun you around, but then seemed to remember the baby and hurriedly sat you down. Tears were glistening in Steve's eyes as he placed both of his hands against your stomach.

"Hey, little baby. I'm your daddy, you know that? I'm going to love and protect you forever, baby. I won't let anyone ever hurt you or your mommy." Steve cooed. He then kissed your stomach over the fabric of your t-shirt.

"I love you so much."

You kissed Steve, now letting your tears fall freely. He said nothing, as he was unable to speak without crying.

All of the things Steve had said, they now meant nothing. He was going to be a father to a beautiful little boy or girl, and that was all that mattered.

 **SIX MONTHS LATER**

"Are you ready to meet your uncles and aunties, darling?"

Steve was holding your baby, cooing to her as you entered the Avenger's headquarters. You hadn't seen your friends in the week since you had your baby, as they'd all been out on a mission at the time (Pepper had stayed with you at Headquarters until Steve was able to return), so they hadn't met your precious baby yet. Natasha had, of course, being the child's godmother and all, but the others had been pestering you since the moment they got back to see her. Steve was beside himself with excitement, ready to show off his daughter for the first time.

The second you entered the room, everyone practically pounced on your baby girl. They were comments on how beautiful she was, and how she was the spitting image of Steve, and then Clint managed to push his way to the front of the throng.

"Come to Uncle Clint!"

Clint had already begun easing the little pink bundle out of Steve's arms when you stopped him.

"Not so fast, Barton!" you teased him. "She hasn't been properly introduced yet, has she? Audrey Buchanan Rogers, meet your family."

You smiled down at your baby girl- with her blonde hair and blue eyes, so much like her father's- and smiled. Naming her had come naturally to you both. Audrey was a lovely, classic name, with sentimental ties to your mother, who's name had also been Audrey. Buchanan, of course, honored Steve's long-lost (and now found) friend.

For the first time in your life, you were content. With a beautiful baby girl in your arms, a caring fiance at your side, and friends bickering over who was the next to hold your daughter, you were completely and utterly happy.


	7. agent carter

summary: steve takes his new girl to meet his best girl.

word count: 3308

trigger warnings: angst, angst, and more angst. I'm so sorry.

okay this is seriously my most favorite thing that I've ever written, period. it kind of leans more steggy at times, but I promise, there's still a big chunk of steve x reader in there.

also- would you guys be interested to see this expanded into a part II? let me know. x

* * *

NOVEMBER 1943

 _The bar was dark, dingy, and filled to the brim with soldiers, drunk of their asses in an effort to forget the horrors of the things they had faced. Steve Rogers, having just finished recruiting the men he thought to be the best of the best to his Howling Commandos, was attempting to make his way to the bar to order a drink, though it wouldn't do him much good. He saw a familiar head of dark brown hair leaning up against the bar counter by the jukebox, surveying the very few young women who were in the room._

 _Bucky Barnes smiled widely as Steve approached him, though his eyes were still a little guarded, hesitant. Even though it had been several weeks since he'd been rescued, Bucky still had a hard time adjusting to the sight of Steve. In the span of time since Bucky had last seen him, his best friend had gained six inches and a hundred or so pounds. Not to mention, women's eyes now followed Steve when he entered a room, and they looked crushed when he hardly spared them a second glance. Bucky himself was used to evoking this sort of reaction in women, but Steve? It was practically unheard of._

 _And that agent, the one with the dark hair and dark eyes, she and Steve had something going on. She was fiery, headstrong, beautiful, and one hell of a match for Steve. Bucky wouldn't be surprised that when this damn war was over, and they were back home, that Steve married her. He hoped that happened, anyway. If anyone deserved a little bit of good luck, it was Steve Rogers._

 _Bucky pushed away his thoughts, which were steadily turning darker and darker, and instead refocused on his conversation with Steve._

 _"You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?" Steve asked, a hint of seriousness in his playful tone._

 _Bucky contemplated his answer for half a millisecond before responding. "Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him."_

 _Steve's gaze softened, and just as he was about to respond the door opened, and the entire bar fell silent. Bucky whipped his head around to see the agent, Peggy Carter, saunter in, clad in a bright red dress and even brighter lipstick. Her eyes were cool, dark, betraying no hint of emotion as she joined Steve and Bucky at the bar. However, Bucky was sure that he saw a hint of something flash across her face when she looked at Steve._

 _"Captain," Peggy said softly._

 _"Agent Carter," Steve responded just as quietly, though there was a hint of nervousness in his tone that hadn't been present in Peggy's._

Smooth, Rogers, _Bucky thought silently. He then smiled in what he thought was a charming, boyish way before offering Peggy a "Ma'am," with a nod of his head. She, not unlike Steve with the other women in this bar, hardly looked his way._

 _Bucky watched silently-slightly stunned-as Peggy and Steve exchanged a few more words before the attractive brunette turned to leave. Steve stared after her like a puppy dog, eyes slightly bulged and filled with an emotion that Bucky could only describe as love._

 _"I'm invisible. I'm turning into you, it's like a horrible dream," Bucky joked._

 _Steve turned to him, a small smirk on his face. "Don't take it so hard. Maybe she's got a friend."_

SEPTEMBER 2014

That day in the bar, when hopes had been so high and thoughts of death and growing old so low, seemed like a million years ago to Steve Rogers. He had been chipped away and thawed from the ice several years previously, but still, adjusting to the modern world was a challenge. He didn't truly grasp what the Internet was, or why iPhones were such a big deal, and why everyone was freaking about about rumors of a new Stars Wars movie. He didn't get the fashion, or the hair, or the makeup. Nothing about those lit-up neon signs in Times Square made sense to him.

He had nothing from his previous life, nothing except for the few artifacts that had gone into the ice with him. Bucky had been dead for nearly seventy years, the rest of his team for decades. There was only one person, in fact, who still tied him to his old life. She was old and frail now, and barely able to move around on her own, but she was still the Peggy Carter that Steve had so deeply loved for so long. She was still so vibrant, intelligent, still so beautiful in her old age.

He'd been visiting her for almost a year now, ever since he caught a whisper that she was still alive. The visits, although a sort-of therapy for him, weren't without heartache. Steve was lucky if he made it through a visit without his throat feeling thick with tears as he had to re-meet Peggy again and again, and see the pain and sorrow in her eyes as she recognized him. Steve wasn't even sure that Peggy realized that he was real, and not a figment of her imagination, dreamt up from her bloody past of battle fields and front lines.

There were good days, though. Sometimes, Steve would walk in the door, usually carrying a bouquet of flowers, and Peggy's eyes would light up with recognition. She would smile so brightly at him that his heart ached, and then she would eagerly gesture to the chair across the room from her bed. They would continue their conversations from his previous visit, and if Steve tried hard enough, he could nearly make himself believe that it was 1943 again, and he and Peggy were young, and he was in his uniform and she in hers, and they were dancing. They would twirl around the floor, bodies pressed close together, and say all of the words they'd held back for far too long.

Then, Peggy would have a coughing fit, and Steve's eyes would jerk open, and the pleasant dream would vanish. His heart would feel with sorrow, and he would tell Peggy yet again that someday, they'd have that dance that he owed her. She would laugh weakly, and pat his hand, and tell him that she was far too old to be swung around a dance floor like a young woman.

Steve would try to smile with Peggy, but his insides would churn with guilt. In truth, he had met someone: You. You were a beautiful girl in your twenties- smart, vivacious, and lovely. You filled a hole in Steve that had existed long before the war, and you made him feel at peace with the world he now lived in. In a way, you reminded him of Peggy. Your strong-headed nature and iron-clad will made you infuriating and irresistible all at once, so much like the woman that Steve had loved so many years ago.

Peggy knew about his new love, and in fact, was the one who encouraged Steve to pursue your relationship. When Steve had insinuated that he wasn't sure that he was ready for to be with someone, Peggy had lightly slapped him on the arm and told him to go after you before he lost his chance. She then reminded him, somewhat sadly, that she had lived a full life, and it was now his chance to live his.

So, the very next day he had asked you out. You were working at Stark Industries as a lab tech when you met, but soon after, Tony Stark had recruited you to work as the head doctor of the Avengers' medical team. Steve had caught you after you finished a shift one day, and you had dinner that very same evening.

That had been seven months ago, and Steve was in love. He hadn't told you this yet, though, as he wasn't sure how. In his years of living, he'd only ever been in love with one other woman, and he hadn't had the guts to tell her how he felt until it was too late.

Now, Peggy wanted to meet you. Steve had been stunned, of course, but Peggy had insisted on becoming acquainted with the woman who had stolen Steve's heart. It had taken several weeks on convincing on Peggy's part, and in the end, Steve couldn't deny his best girl anything that she wanted.

So, he sat down with you one day, and he explained everything. He told you every last dark, dirty detail of the war, and of his best friend, Bucky, and the brilliant Agent Peggy Carter. He told you about the Howling Commandos, and the legacy that they'd left behind. He told you about coming face-to-face with Red Skull, an awful creature so much like the Adolf Hitler you learned about in the history books.

After that night, you knew every detail of Steve Rogers' life, and you were ready to jump into his world, once and for all.

NOVEMBER 2014

You weren't sure why you were so anxious, honestly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Steve, who you had hardly ever seen nervous, was rocking back and forth on his heels, or that you were about to meet Agent Peggy Carter, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D and badass World War II heroine.

You'd heard stories about Agent Carter growing up from your brother, who'd been obsessed with Captain America and anything from that era as a child. He collected the action figures, read the comic books, and eagerly watched every television broadcast about his favorite superhero. Naturally, you had been drawn in, and you found yourself looking up to Agent Carter from the time that you were very young. In fact, you'd grown up having a picture of the woman tacked to the wall above your bed.

So, when Steve asked you if you would accompany him to see Peggy a few weeks ago, you leaped at the opportunity. You were finally going to meet the woman who you'd admired for so many years... And who was also the almost-ex-girlfriend of the man that you were dating.

The ride over on Steve's motorcycle to the nursing facility that Peggy was staying it seemed to take hours. Your stomach was in knots as Steve parked the bike, and you tried to calm down your rapidly-beating heart. What would you say? What would Peggy say? What if she didn't think you were good enough for Steve?

Steve must have noticed your anxiety, because as he opened the door for you, he grabbed your hand in his and rubbed it soothingly with the back of his thumb. You smiled softly as you glanced down at your entwined hands, but the moment of peace vanished quickly.

"Hi, ma'am. We're here to visit Ms. Peggy Carter," Steve said to the woman at the front desk. Without her having to ask, he signed both of you in on the sheet sitting on the desk.

"First door on the left, honey," the older woman said kindly. "Enjoy your visit, and don't forget to sign out before you leave."

You followed Steve down the hallway into a small, brightly lit room. The walls were paneled with a deep wood, and there were paintings and other personal artifacts littered around the space. A bed was positioned in the middle of the room, and in it lay a grey-haired woman. Her eyes were half-closed, and for a second you feared that you had interrupted her sleeping.

Then, her eyes opened, and a bright smile lit up her weathered face. "Oh, Steve," she croaked. "Do come in."

Steve's face melted into a soft smile, one that you usually caught him using when he looked at you. He crossed the room in three quick strides to stand at Peggy's side. He knelt down, kissed her forehead, and then settled into a chair next to her bed.

"Hey, Peggy," Steve said. "I brought (Y/N) to meet you, just like you asked."

Peggy turned her head slightly, noticing you for the first time. She gestured for you to move into the room, and so you did, hands shaking. You stood before Peggy as she examined you, lips slightly pursed.

Her face broke into a wide smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N). Steve hasn't shut up about you," Peggy laughed. "You're even lovelier than he described."

You blushed as you glanced at Steve. His face was a bright red, and he was trying to avoid meeting your gaze. You turned back to Peggy, attempting to formulate a coherent thought.

"It's such an honor to meet you, Agent Carter. I grew up idolizing you, ma'am. I even had a picture of you tacked up above my bed," you babbled. "When Steve said you wanted to meet me, I couldn't believe it."

Peggy laughed again. "Please, call me Peggy. I'm afraid my days of traipsing around the country with S.H.I.E.L.D. are long over," she turned to Steve. "Steve, you never told me how sweet she was."

"C'mon, Peg, you're embarrassing me." Steve flushed again and reached down to squeeze Peggy's hand.

Peggy only raised her free hand, waving off Steve's complaints. "Oh, hush, Steve. Let an old woman have a little fun," Steve's face fell a little bit. "Would you mind getting me a glass of tea from the cafeteria?"

Steve nodded immediately and sprang to his feet. Once he was out of ear-shot, Peggy beckoned for you to come closer to her. You sat down in the chair that Steve had previously occupied, confused, as you waited for Peggy to speak.

"I'm glad he found you," Peggy said earnestly, voice barely above a whisper. "All of these years, thoughts of Steve and the life that he never got to life have eaten away at me, but now, I feel... A sense of peace, I suppose. When I was first told the news that they had recovered Captain America from the ice, I was stunned, and ecstatic, and completely and utterly heartbroken. I knew that the world he was waking up to was not the same one he left in 1945. I was scared beyond belief for him, and how he would react once he realized that practically everyone he knew was gone.

"The first day that Steve visited me, I still saw the good, brave man I met in Brooklyn all those years ago, but he was different. Broken-down, tired, lost. He's been different these past few months. When Steve first mentioned you to me, his eyes lit up, like how they used to when we were young." Peggy paused and smiled sadly. "He loves you very much, (Y/N). Please, do only good by him."

Tears were gathering in your eyes, and you reached over to squeeze the much older woman's hand gently. "Yes, ma'am," you said. "I do love him, a lot. I plan on spending the rest of my life with Steve Rogers, if the fates will have it."

Suddenly, as you said the words, you realized how true they were. Even though you and Steve had only been dating for a few months, you loved him more deeply than you had ever thought possible. When you thought about where you would be in five, ten, fifteen years, you hoped you would be at Steve's side. He was strong, and had a heart of gold, and was the most sensitive, intelligent man that you had ever met. You loved him.

"I have no doubt that you will live a long, wonderful life with him," Peggy said softly. "It's nice to know that Steve will be taken care of, that he'll have someone who understands when..." Peggy trailed off, but you didn't need her to finish her sentence to know what she meant.

You sat in silence for several minutes until Steve returned, a glass of tea for Peggy in one hand, and a latte in the other for you. Steve pulled up another chair beside you, casually taking your hand in his as you talked to Peggy.

After an hour or two, the door opened and in came a young, blonde twenty-something nurse. She held a small tray of pill bottles and a glass of water in her hands. She smiled apologetically at you and Steve. "I'm sorry, Mr. Rogers and Ms. (Y/L/N), but visiting hours are almost over."

Steve stood up immediately. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. We'll be out of your hair in just a moment." He leaned down and kissed Peggy's forehead softly and squeezed her hand. "I'll be back next week, Peg."

"Goodbye, Steve," Peggy said gently. "And (Y/N), it was lovely to finally meet you." She added.

You leaned down to gently hug the former-agent, and when you tried to pull away she held you back. She leaned close to your ear and whispered words that you would never forget. "Thank you, (Y/N). You have brought a great deal of peace to me today."

For a moment, your heart stopped. The pieces clicked into place, and you realized something. The medications on the tray, the way Peggy had told Steve "goodbye" instead of "see you soon", how she spoke of peace and finality...

Peggy Carter was dying.

Your chest was tight as you tried to gather your composure, and you felt tears stinging your eyes. You managed to croak out, "Of course. I promise you that I will protect him, come what may, Agent Carter."

Then, you released her, and you joined Steve by the door. You exchanged one last long, sorrow look with Peggy, and then the door closed, and then she was gone. You tightened your grip on Steve's arm as he silently led you out of the nursing home and into the streets of New York. You were just about to put on your motorcycle helmet when Steve stopped you. He pulled you into a tight embrace, burying his head against your shoulder.

You were momentarily stunned, and then you realized Steve must have caught the double-meaning of Peggy's words as well. The woman he'd loved for decades upon decades, the woman who'd given him a shot when he was nothing but a scrawny kid from Brooklyn, the woman who'd captured his heart so many years ago and who'd worn that red dress in that bar, she was dying. And after she was gone, the very last link to his old life would be gone as well.

"It'll be okay, Steve," you said, voice cracking on his name. "We'll get through this together, alright? I'll be here. I promised her that I'll be here."

You felt hot tears against your neck, and with a start you realized that Steve was crying. Your heart shattered right then and there into a million tiny splinters, and you felt suddenly the ache and pain that Steve must have been feeling since he first woke up on that day in 2011. You held him more tightly against you, and you wished with every once of your being that you could take his pain away.

But you couldn't. So, you settled for standing out there in the cold November chill, holding Steve Rogers as if your life depended on it. You stroked his hair, whispered soothing things in his ear, and eventually, the tears stopped. It was Steve's turn then, and he told you a hundred times, a million different ways, that he loved you. He promised to stay by your side as long as he lived, to love and cherish you, to be your equal in every was possible. He promised to protect you for all of eternity.

And so did you. True to your word, you were standing at Steve's side, hand-in-hand, at Agent Peggy Carter's funeral just six days later.


	8. all this time

summary: you and steve are obviously head over heels for each other, but you won't admit it. so, the team decides to step in.

word count: 1245

trigger warnings: none, just a fluff piece

* * *

Sneaky glances. Casual brushing of the hands. Beet-red faces. Awkward encounters.

This basically summed up your and Steve's relationship over the past five months, and the team was sick of it. It was obvious to practically everyone but the two involved how crazy for each other you and Steve were. So, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, and Tony hatched a plan to finally get you together.

Tony's original idea was to lock both of you in what he called a "Avenger proof" reinforced steel closet until you agreed to admit your feelings, but the rest of the team feared that this would cause more harm than good and shot down the idea almost immediately. Instead, they decided to embarrass the hell out of you both until you finally admitted your feelings.

After several days of preparation and meticulous planning, they were ready. The plan was that Thor would lure you into the tower's common space on the pretense of teaching him how to use the television (a skill that he'd mastered long ago), and then Natasha would conveniently come in with Steve, discussing tactics for your upcoming mission. Clint, Tony, and Bruce (who was very reluctant to go along with this plan) were to then come in, and Tony was going to flirt with you while Clint whispered to Steve about how Tony had a thing for you. And hopefully, that would rile Steve up enough to admit his feelings for you.

It was a complicated, possibly doomed plan, but it was the best one the team had. And besides, they fought monsters for a living. How difficult could it be to get two stubborn superheroes to convince their feelings for each other?

And so the plan was put into action.

"Thor, I don't understand why you're making me do this," you whined, trying to tug your arm out of Thor's grip as he pulled you into the common room. "How long have you been coming to Earth now? And you're just finally figuring out how to use a television?"

Thor laughed and pulled you down next to him on one of the sofas. "Lady (Y/N), I do not have time for such simple Midgardian things!" He picked up the remote and started jabbing buttons at random. "Come to life, tiny moving box!"

You sighed and rubbed your temples. "Look, this is the power button, okay? You press it to turn the 'tiny moving box' on-"

Just then, Steve and Natasha walked into the room, heads buried in the tablet that Natasha was holding. She was murmuring to Steve in a low voice about something that you couldn't understand, but you assumed it had something to do with your upcoming mission.

Just then, Steve glanced up, and your eyes met. He blushed immediately and lowered his head, but you couldn't take your eyes off of him. He was honestly the most perfect human being you'd ever seen, if you were honest with yourself. Strong, kind, intelligent, handsome... And not to mention, about a hundred times out of your league. You sighed quietly to yourself and went back to assisting Thor.

Just a few minutes later, in walked Tony, Bruce, and Clint. Tony made a beeline for you, lightly shoving Thor out of the way so he could sit by you. You were confused, to say the least, because yes, you and Tony were good friends, but you didn't have much one-on-one interaction.

"Hey, doll, how're you doing today?" Tony asked you in a low voice, throwing his arm around your shoulder casually.

You awkwardly smiled at him and tried to think of an adequate response. What was Stark playing at here?

"Um, fine, I suppose. I was packing for our mission until someone decided that it was time for another lesson in the world of humans," you looked across Tony to playfully glare at Thor. "How's yours been?"

Tony smirked. "Not gonna lie, it was pretty shitty until I saw your pretty little face."

You felt your cheeks turn hot as Tony spoke. You were definitely uncomfortable now, and the last thing you wanted was for Steve to see Tony flirting with you. Steve already only saw you as a friend, you didn't want to give him the impression you were taken on top of it all.

On the other side of the room, Clint had casually joined Steve and Natasha's conversation, and carefully steered it in the direction of team gossip.

"So, have you noticed that little thing going on between Stark and (Y/N)?" Clint asked in a low tone, gesturing to you. From this angle, it looked like you were leaning into Tony's side, and your blush could have been mistaken as a sign of affection. "He's been all over her for weeks now."

Steve immediately stiffened, and Natasha had to resist smirking. "Is that so? I never took (Y/N) as the type of girl to buy into Tony's billionaire playboy deal. I think they'd be good together, though," she mused. "What do you think, Steve?"

Steve tore his eyes away from you and Tony and blinked at Natasha. He tried to think of something intelligent to say, but all that came to mind was the fact that he wanted to take Tony and throw him off the roof of the Avenger's tower-

"C'mon, (Y/N), why don't we go out tonight, huh? Just me and you. We can get Shawarma." Tony said, very loudly, with an exaggerated wink.

And Steve couldn't control himself anymore. It's like he was seeing red, and it was all he could do to not lift Tony by the front of his shirt and punch the hell out of him. Instead, he walked over to you and pulled you to your feet.

"Actually, I was planning on asking (Y/N) out tonight, if she would do me the honor of taking her out for dinner." Steve said, and although his face was flaming, he kept his voice steady.

Tony smirked and put both hands in the air as if he were surrendering. "Alright, alright. I can see where I'm not wanted. Whad'ya say, Banner? Me and you tonight, then?"

You didn't hear the rest of what Tony said, because now, you only had eyes and ears for Steve. He was staring down at you, breathing heavily, and it was all you could do to not kiss him full on the mouth right then and there. Instead, you opted to press a lingering kiss to his cheek.

"I would love to, Cap. I'll expect you at my door at 7:15 tonight, and not a second later. Am I understood?" You smirked playfully and laid a hand on Steve's arm.

Steve looked at you dumb-founded for a moment, but he quickly recovered and grinned. "Yes, ma'am, 7:15 on the dot."

You smiled happily at him, but then a thought occurred to you. "Wait a second- are you telling me that you've liked me all this time, and it took Tony flirting with me for you to admit it?"

Steve scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and blushed.

"Er, yeah, that's exactly what I'm telling you," he said sheepishly. "Better late than never, right?"

And you couldn't help yourself anymore. You leaned in and wrapped your arms around Steve's neck, oblivious to the fact that the entire time was smirking at you two, and that Tony was sure to give you hell for weeks, because you didn't care. Finally, after all this time, Steve Rogers was yours.


	9. captain (pt II)

summary: sequel to "captain". after a year's absence, Nick Fury has assigned you to work a mission with the avengers. you arrive to stark tower unsure of what to expect, or what your ex-love, steve rogers, will say when he sees you.

word count: 4025

trigger warnings: slightly graphic mentions of battle. angst. heartbreak. chaos.

a/n: here it is! the much-anticipated sequel to "captain", prepare yourselves.

* * *

It had over a year since your blow out fight with Steve. A year of pure pain. Pure agony. Pure rage.

You thought that you would heal with time. That after a few weeks your silly post-breakup depression would go away, and you could move on with your life. That you could be happy without him. Oh, you were so very wrong. You missed Steve terribly, even though you were still furious with him. You couldn't go from being everything to strangers instantly, you knew. But it didn't explain why after a year you still felt like there was a gaping hole in your heart, slowly ripping your body apart at the seams.

True to his word, Steve hadn't once tried to reach out to you. No phone calls, no texts, not even a second glance when you passed each other in the halls of the S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters. Nothing. It was as if you and Steve were nothing more than casual work acquaintances, and not long-time lovers who'd been on the verge of something even bigger. No, you were nothing more than two people who shared some memories, memories that you still held close to your heart even after all this time.

Since the day you'd ended things with Steve, you had been filling your days with more missions. You were gone constantly, in fact, and couldn't even remember the last time you'd slept in your own bed for more than a night or two. You found that the constant overload of work, helping people, saving lives, kept your mind at bay. During these missions, Steve never once crossed your mind.

Until now.

Nick Fury, for some ungodly reason, had decided to assign you to a case with the Avengers. You'd worked with Clint and Natasha on separate occasions many times these past several months, and you still kept in contact with Tony, but you hadn't seen the rest of the Avengers during those times. You had no idea how they were going to react, and most importantly, if you'd be able to concentrate with Steve so near you on the battle field.

You were standing outside the big glass doors to the Avengers tower like a moron, trying to gather the courage to go inside. It had been so long since you'd been here, but somehow, it still felt like just yesterday that Steve and you had made the big decision to move into his wing of the tower together. For the first time in over a year, you felt like you were home.

Still shaking slightly, you pushed open one of the glass doors and signed in with the receptionist, a young, pretty blonde girl who's name you couldn't quite remember.

"Ms. (Y/L/N)!" she looked surprised, but quickly turned her expression into one of professionalism. "It's wonderful to see you. How are you?"

You distractedly smiled at her as you signed your name on the line she indicated. "I'm fine..." A name flashed through your mind. "...Lily. How are you?"

Lily seemed pleased that you remembered her after so long. "I'm doing well. Ms. Potts has been keeping me busy lately, she's training me to be her personal assistant!"

"That's great to hear, Lily. I hope everything works out for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I better go on up, or else the Captain will have my head-"

You froze. Just being back at this place, seeing the familiar walls and inhaling the familiar scent, made you go back to a head-space of a year before. You weren't the same woman who walked out of that gym those many months ago, and you would do well to remember that once you were in the presence of your old teammates.

Lily laughed awkwardly and shuffled around a few papers on your desk. "Thank you, Ms. (Y/L/N)," you began to walk away when Lily called out to you. "Oh, Mr. Stark wants you to meet him and the others on the roof. The Quinjet is ready."

"Thanks again, Lily," you smiled at the blonde girl. "I'll see you around."

You pressed the "up" button on the elevator and stepped inside. Once the doors closed, you let your smile fall and ran a shaky hand through your hair. This was it. Just a couple more floors before you saw the group of people you more-or-less had abandoned for the past year.

"Mr. Stark and the rest of the team are already on the quinjet, Ms. (Y/L/N)," the voice of JARVIS startled you out of your thoughts. "Good luck today."

"Thanks, JARVIS." You said quietly, and then stepped out of the elevator and into the blinding sunlight.

The quinjet was roaring, meaning that you were the last one to arrive. You stepped inside the jet and were instantly met with the faces of your old teammates. Everyone was silent for a moment, taking you in, and then Tony jumped to his feet.

"My, my, as I live and breathe! (Y/F/N/L/N) back from the dead!" Tony grinned and pulled you in for a tight hug. His lips came to your ear, whispering quietly enough so only you could hear his words. "It's good to have you back, kid. We all missed you."

The rest of the team greeted you in a similar fashion, and soon, there was only Steve left to acknowledge. He had awkwardly hovered behind Bruce for several moments before pulling you into a fleeting, one-armed hug.

"It's nice to see you, Agent (Y/L/N). I hope you're doing well." Steve said stiffly.

You nodded curtly, staring him straight in the eyes. "I've been fine, Captain Rogers. The same to you."

Steve muttered something about checking up on some last-minute coordinates before disappearing into a corner of the jet. Natasha pulled you with her back to her seat, asking about a hundred questions a minute.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" Natasha asked.

You froze, as did everyone else on the quinjet. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat and picked at a lose thread on your uniform. You had two options: lie, and say that you were in a relationship, or admit that you hadn't seen anyone since Steve.

"Not right now, no," you said carefully. "I really don't have time for a relationship." Natasha shot you an apologetic look, realizing the awkward position she'd put you in.

"Hey, look at that, we're nearly there." Tony said hurriedly.

You looked out of the front of the quinjet, and sure enough, the green, rolling hills of Ireland were coming into view. Your mission was a simple one: invade the alleged HYDRA base located deep in the Ireland countryside, take out as many soldiers as possible, and recover intelligence for S.H.I.E.L.D use.

"Game plan, Cap?" Clint called as he finished loading his quiver with arrows.

Steve rose from his seat and joined you and Tony in the cockpit of the jet. "Myself and Thor will take the base from the front. That's the area where they're most heavily armed, so we should be able to distract a good amount of the soldiers. Clint, I want you to find a high place and stay there. Take out the soldiers on the upper decks of the fortress. Bruce, stay here and keep the jet ready to fly, unless we need a Code Green. Tony, take the sky. There's an entrance on the roof and you should be able to get it open. Once you're inside, head straight for the labs, no detours. Get the intel we need, and get out. (Y/N) and Natasha, I want you both to hit them from the back. If you find a way in, take it. Tony will need all the help he can get once he's inside," Steve paused and looked at everyone in turn. "Let's make this trip as quick as possible."

Everyone nodded solemnly and began preparing themselves for landing. You were loading a 9 mm pistol and attaching it to a holster on your belt when Steve took a seat next to you.

"(Y/N)," Steve took a deep breath. His earlier coldness was gone, replaced with something that could only be described as pain. "I'm so-"

You stood up quickly. "Not now, Steve. We've got far more important things to focus on right now than our silly drama. Come on, it's time to go."

Steve looked taken aback, but still, he followed you out of the quinjet and into the fresh, cool Ireland countryside. Tony had landed the jet in a large, sprawling field surrounded by trees. It was the perfect cover, or at least the most inconspicuous place to hide a large aircraft in the middle of nowhere.

"Just on the other side of those trees is the HYDRA fortress. We should be able to get the jump on them as long as we're careful," Steve said. You began trudging through the small patch of woods, following closely behind Natasha. "Natasha, (Y/N), once we get out I want you both to-"

What Steve wanted you to know, you would never find out. Because just then, a swarm of HYDRA soldiers burst through the line of trees and immediately began firing. The entire team sprang into action.

As you watched, Steve threw his shield in a neat arc, causing three soldiers to go flying. Thor was swinging his hammer every which way, and Natasha had a pistol in each hand, firing round after round. Tony had disappeared into the sky, trying to salvage what was left of the Captain's carefully thought-out plan. Clint was gone as well, perched in a tree somewhere far above your heads, taking meticulous aim and shooting down soldier after soldier.

You went for the 9 mm strapped to your waist that you'd only finished loading moments before and began firing at those closest to you. You moved backwards, trying to find some sort of cover for yourself. You ducked behind a large tree to reload your pistol and jammed a finger against the comm in your ear.

"What the hell is going on, Cap? What's our next move?" You yelled, trying to be heard over the gunfire.

"There's no need to scream, (Y/N), we can all hear you perfectly fine. Save that for the bedroom," Tony replied snarkily.

You bit your tongue in an effort not to scream. You were extremely out of your element right now, as it had been over a year since you'd been out in the field. You hadn't fired a weapon in months, and the last time you engaged in hand-to-hand combat, you had no idea. Every mission you'd worked in the past year had been strictly recon or citizen evacuation. You hadn't felt blood on your hands for a long, long time.

"Shut up, Stark," Steve said. "(Y/L/N), meet me at the back of the fortress. Romanoff issued a Code Green; Banner's on his way. They're going to handle things here, along with Thor and Barton."

You didn't answer, instead stealthily rolling out from behind your rock and shooting the two soldiers who had been following you. You looked around wildly for a way to the back of the fortress. It seemed to be a straight shot from where you were to there, but you had to avoid the soldiers-who were now very aware of your presence-pacing the upper levels of the castle.

You quickly thought through your options and decided to make a quick dash for the wall of the fortress. A shower of bullets followed you, but then quickly stopped. On instinct, you looked up to the trees above you and saw Clint, bow in hand. You mouthed a quick "thank you" to him before continuing on, hugging the wall as close as you could.

You reached the back perimeter of the fortress without much difficulty, thanks to Clint. Steve had been right; there were only about ten or so guards watching the back half of the fortress, and they looked to be not as heavily armed as the guards at the front.

"(Y/L/N?) (Y/L/N), where are you?" Steve's voice crackled over the comm.

"By the wall to the right, Cap," you whispered. "Ten or so guards in sight. Barton took out most on the upper levels. Guards seem to have a rifle in hand, two pistols in holsters, and a few sheathed knives."

"I'm seeing eleven from here," Steve said. "you were right on the weapons count, though."

"Damn," you muttered, "I'm losing my touch."

"Such a shame, too," Steve teased. There was a brief pause, followed by an awkward grunt. "Er, go in on three. Aim to injure, not kill. Fury wants a few to take back for questioning."

"Got it. On my count, then?" Steve didn't respond, so you took his silence as a yes. "Three... Two... One..."

You flew around the corner of the fortress, a pistol in each hand, and started shooting. Immediately, you brought two soldiers down with single shots to the leg. Steve had already knocked out four others, and he was engaged in combat with a fifth. The soldier was firing an assault rifle at Steve, but he managed to dodge every bullet.

Suddenly, you saw it. One of the soldiers you shot in the leg managed to prop himself up, and he was now taking aim at Steve from behind. There wasn't enough time to warn him, wasn't enough time for him to react.

So, you did. You ran forward and knocked Steve to the ground. Upon hitting the ground, you let out a quiet "oomph" and rolled over. Steve threw his shield at the rogue gunman, sending him flying backwards and landing in a heap beneath a tree. Then, he turned to you, and his face went pale.

"Steve? What-?" you tried to reach for your pistol, but then you noticed the blood dripping from your body, and the stinging began. Your catsuit was torn at the waist, and blood was seeping through the tight fabric. There was an obvious gaping hole in your abdomen, and that's when you realized something. You'd been shot.

"(Y/N), you're losing a lot of blood," Steve paused to rip a piece off of the sleeve of his suit with his teeth. "I'm going to get you out of here, okay? Just stay awake."

Even as Steve spoke, you felt your eyes becoming heavy. Your body was starting to throb painfully now that the adrenaline was wearing off, and even more blood was seeping through the tourniquet Steve had just tied over your bullet wound.

The world was starting to go black around the edges when Steve disappeared from your line of sight. You heard the sound of a scuffle, a few grunts, and then Steve was beside you again, face alight with worry.

"Shit," he mumbled. "Stark, how much longer is this going to take? (Y/N) got shot, she's losing a lot of blood here. We need to get her to Doctor Cho as soon as possible."

You heard Natasha's frantic voice reply over the comm. "I'm in with Tony, we're processing data now. We'll be five minutes, tops. Just hold on, Cap."

"Make it two," Steve said tersely.

Then, he looked at you, and his gaze immediately softened. Your eyes met for a long, silent moment, and in that instant, you both knew. You knew it was going to take too long to get to Doctor Cho. You knew you'd lost too much blood. You knew that no one, not even Captain America, could save you.

"Steve," you coughed, and when you moved your hand away from your mouth, it was covered with blood. "I'm so sorry-"

"Shh, it's okay. I forgave you a long time ago, doll," Steve said thickly. He began softly stroking your hair, gently pulling you across his lap. "I missed you, so much. I'm so, so sorry for everything that I said and did, (Y/N). You're the greatest woman I've ever known, and I would never, ever want you to be someone you're not, not for me."

By now, tears had gathered in your eyes, and they weren't from pain. "I forgive you, Steve," you smiled gently. "And I want you to promise me something."

"Anything for my best girl." Steve tried to smile back at you, but it came out more like a grimace.

"Promise me that if I don't pull through," Steve opened his mouth to retort, but you kept going. "Don't give me that look, Steve. We both know it's possible that I won't. But promise me that if I do die, that you'll move on. You won't regret this year we spent apart. You'll find a girl, whisk her off her feet, and you'll marry her. You're going to have beautiful blue eyed, blonde haired kids. You'll live a beautiful life with your family, and you'll be happy. But you damn well better not forget about me. Tell your kids about me, and our story. Tell them about the girl and the boy who loved each other too much to bear. Tell them how they fought each other blindly, out of love. Tell them how they would die for each other. Tell them how she did. How she died for love, and their future."

Steve was crying now and hugging you close to his chest. "You're not dying today, (Y/N), not on my watch. You're going to be living that apple pie life right there beside me, doll. Those kids are going to look just like you, and they're going to be beautiful."

Your vision was becoming blurry again, and your limbs strangely heavy... but also light, all at the same time. You offered Steve a small, weak smile, and managed to push four more words past your quivering lips. "I love," you coughed. "-you Steve."

Steve shut his eyes and took a deep breath before answering you. He lowered himself to your height and pressed a shaky kiss to your forehead. "I love you, (Y/N). Always have, always will."

You pressed your lips together in a thin smile, coughed once more, and then the world went black. You felt nothing more.

ONE YEAR LATER

"It's time, Steve," Natasha said softly. She laid a hand on Steve's arm, but the super-soldier shrugged her off.

"Nat, I can't," Steve said thickly. Tears were brimming in his eyes. "If I do this, she's... She's really gone. I can't let her go."

Natasha, who hadn't cried, or even come close to crying in several years, felt hot tears sliding down her cheeks. She hurriedly wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "She wouldn't want you to keep holding on like this, Steve. (Y/N)'s been dead for a year, and nothing can change that. We owe it to her to spread her ashes, just like she said to. She deserves that much."

Natasha locked eyes with Clint, silently instructing him to tell Tony to start taking the quinjet down. The entire team-with the exception of Thor-had gathered together to spread your ashes over the ocean, as per your instructions found on a napkin locked up in Tony's safe. You hadn't written a will, or gave any inclination on what you wanted done with your body as you took your final breaths, so the team had taken that napkin as your final will and testament.

Steve had been putting off this day for months, though Natasha and Bruce had been trying to push him towards it. He had made excuses at first, saying that you didn't like warm weather, so your ashes couldn't be spread in June, or that he hadn't found an urn suitable enough for you. Finally, though, Natasha had to put her foot down. The team needed closure as much as Steve did.

"We'll be over coasting over the Atlantic in three and a half minutes. Everyone ready?" Tony asked dully. He especially hadn't been the same since you died, having been an older-brother figure to you for many years. The sparkle in his eyes had dulled, and there hadn't been a party lighting up the Stark Tower in ages.

Steve looked to Natasha, and then the gold urn sitting in his lap, and he stood up. "Yeah, Tony, we're ready."

The group huddled around the quinjet's exit as Tony let FRIDAY take the controls. The aircraft slowed to a crawl as the door slowly opened, exposing the team to the chilling December air. Steve handed the urn to Natasha, who was going to speak first.

"(Y/N)," Natasha began quietly. "You know I'm not one for emotional shit, but you were a damn good agent, and an even better friend. Thank you for trying to know me, even after I pushed you away, time and time again. Thank you for having a heart of gold." In truth, Natasha had about a million other things she wanted to say, but she couldn't bring herself to utter the words. Instead, she stared up at the open sky above, and hoped that somehow, somewhere, you were hearing her unspoken thoughts.

Tony was next, and he wiped fresh tears from his eyes before taking the urn from Natasha. "I miss you, kid, and I don't know how else to say that. I miss you so fucking much that it hurts. It's not fair that you're gone. You were so young, so good... You had an entire life to live. I would trade places with you in a second if it meant that you got to live your life."

There was silence for several moments as everyone sniffled and wiped their eyes, silently agreeing with Tony's words. Any one of them would have gladly laid down their life for you, the twenty-two year old girl with a bright smile and an even brighter future. Clint, who was next in line, passed on speaking, too overcome with grief to do much more than hold the urn briefly before handing it off to Bruce.

"You were such a beautiful, intelligent girl, (Y/N)," Bruce began quietly. "You didn't deserve this, not at all. Thank you for giving the green guy as much of a chance as you gave me. I hope you find peace and happiness, wherever you are."

Finally, it was Steve's turn to speak. He held the urn that he had so painstakingly picked out in his hands as he stared out across the ocean, a faraway look in his eyes.

"(Y/N)," Steve murmured. "I should have never let you go, and I'll regret that until the day that I die and join you once again. I've loved you since the first day I laid eyes on you, and I will forever remember you, and the way you lived your entirely too short life. I'll remember how you laughed at the sad parts during movies, and how you once beat up a guy at a bar for trying to pick you up. I'll remember how you made me feel like a normal person, and how you accepted me, flaws and all. You'll always be my very best girl, and nothing will ever change that. I love you, (Y/N), always have, and I always will."

Then, in one fluid motion, Steve unscrewed the top of the urn and let the contents drift lazily through the air into the deep blue ocean below. After a moment's pause, he tossed the urn into the water, and you were really, truly gone.

Natasha pulled Steve against her, trying her best to keep her composure enough to comfort Steve. Tony had at some point sank to the ground, shaking, with his head in his hands. Bruce was still standing, staring blankly out into the ocean, and Clint had retreated to a far corner of the aircraft to grieve privately. The door to the jet clanged shut with a sort of finality, and darkness fell over the space.

It would always be dark, Natasha suddenly realized, because the sun had died a year ago. The light, everything good and pure in this godforsaken world, it was dead, and it was never coming back. Silent tears fell down Natasha's cheeks as she held Steve against her, and she could only hope that somehow, some way they'd survive this.


End file.
